A marriage of love, unity and understanding

Worshipping God as Creator

When you look at your spouse and see the glory of God's creative artistry, it supernaturally follows with the ability to treat them with dignity and respect.

Our issue becomes when we want to re-create our spouse into our own image or at least into someone who would be easier for us to live with. It is here, in the questioning of the Creator, that we slip into the practice of dishonouring and disrespecting our spouse.

After a while, you will start to figure things out and you begin to do things differently. You will eventually learn how to love, respect, encourage, and challenge your spouse the way they need to be loved. Your desire to meet your own needs begins to diminish as the desire to meet the needs of your spouse increases. It is a beautiful thing, necessary thing, a biblical thing and it starts with worship.

Worship opens the door to wonder and joy as we celebrate the Creator.

Worshipping God as Sovereign

Life does not work out as planned, yet God rules the whole process.

Here’s what I mean by the sovereignty of God: God has the rightful authority, the freedom, the wisdom, and the power to bring about everything that he intends to happen. And therefore, everything he intends to come about does come about. Which means, God plans and governs all things.- John Piper

So here we are in our marriage where we bring cultural, familial and experiential influences of two peoples lives and put them all together.  It does not take long before we realize our spouse does not share our expectations.

“I expect that my husband will discuss and resolve disagreements in a systematic and logical manner.” “I expect my wife will be excited about making love with me every night.” “I expect a good deal of affection and a great deal of physical contact in our marriage.” “I expect that my wife will nurture and comfort me when I am ill.” “I expect that my husband will climb the corporate ladder and make ever increasing amounts of money.” “I expect that we will have daily devotions and prayer in our home.” “I expect that my wife will remain slim and shapely throughout our marriage.” “I expect that my husband will take pleasure in sharing the events of the day when he gets home.” “I expect to have dinner waiting for me when I get home at 5:30.” “I expect that my husband will do his fair share of household maintenance.” “I expect to entertain a large army of family members at major holidays.” “I expect to have an open home in which people feel free to drop by at any time.”

Only when we celebrate the sovereignty of God and how He formed us and brought us together can we quit being irritated by our differences and start realizing how much more our lives has been enhanced by them.

Worshipping God as Saviour 

How long do you think it will take you before you realize that you have married a sinner?

Our responses to our spouse is critical when this event takes place. Remember that we ourselves are in desperate need of grace. Remembering who God is and who we are. If we see our world, our lives, and our circumstances through the lens of Jesus’s cross, everything will come into focus. And that clarity of sight will awaken joy in us. It is looking through this lens that we find a deep sense of what it means to be loved by a good and kind heavenly Father.

As we worship our Saviour, we find joy in being part of the work of grace that God is committed to giving to our spouse and when they mess up, we will find ways to incarnate the transforming grace of the Saviour.

Where will we look today for the reasons to continue working on our marriage when we enter into those seasons of disappointment? Our marriages are particularly vulnerable when we are disheartened, and unless we’re constantly seeking after the Lord and looking for Him in our circumstances, disappointment will become a distraction, one that threatens to keep us from all God has for us.

Expect the expected

Our marriages live in the middle of a world that does not function as God intended.

Most couples do not realize that glorifying God is the deeper meaning of a Biblical marriage. In most marriages, the focus on Jesus is the missing puzzle piece to the abundance God planned. We seek the ways of the world (riches, lust, vanity, self-absorption) to guide us in marriage, while Jesus is waiting for us to seek Him through His Word.

These words should cause us to pause...

On that day you will be glad, even if you have to go through many hard trials for a while.  Your faith will be like gold that has been tested in a fire. And these trials will prove that your faith is worth much more than gold that can be destroyed. They will show that you will be given praise and honor and glory when Jesus Christ returns. - 1 Peter 1:6-7

God decided to leave us in this fallen world to live, love and work because He intended to use the difficulties we face to do something in us that couldn't be done any other way.  God is working through our daily circumstances to change us.

We also do not get to be married to someone perfect.

Marriage can be tricky and challenging at times. So it's only natural that when you're in one of those funks, you begin to ask, "Did I marry the right person?"

We tend to personalize what is not personal.

A one-sided relationship is where one person does not seem to be pulling their weight or even care about the health and well being of the relationship. These relationships tend to be frustrating to the people involved and in the end, spiraling to the ground in with both partners exhausted.
 

However, we are not alone in our struggle.

As humans, we are not meant to be isolated. We all crave deep and lasting connections with other people. But we know it’s possible to feel alone in the middle of a crowd, and it’s possible to sleep in the same bed with someone for years and still feel lonely. Many of us never expect to be lonely in marriage, hoping that our spouse will be the lifelong companion who saves us from loneliness.

God is near, so near that in our moment of need we can reach out and touch Him because He is not far from each one of us.

The open tomb also reminds us that God is powerful.

Abraham could be an example of this. In the early days of his life, Abraham lacked confidence in the power of God. He made his way to the land of Canaan in obedience to the revelation He received from God. But when a famine came in the land, Abram made his way to Egypt, a decision which does not seem prompted by faith in God’s power or His promises. When he and Sarai arrived there, they conducted themselves as they habitually did throughout much of their marriage — they deceived others about their relationship. It is apparent from Abram’s words that Abram was afraid when he took his wife to a foreign land. Because there was no “fear of God in that place” (Genesis 20:11), he thought God’s power was somehow nullified. It seems Abram thought God’s power was sufficient to protect him only when he was in the right place and when the people of that place feared God.